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So I have been surprisingly absent from the computer over the past week. Work has been very tiring yet fulfilling. I have been fighting my sickness and Brock returned home to come down with my sickness also. I was ticked because I had to suffer through the worst of my cold without him and then he comes home, gets sick and has me to look after him. Bah humbug!!! Anyways, his trip was (apparently) awesome and I will post photos soon, but as before I have run into the problem of transferring photos. Good news however! On his trip, Brock got so ticked off at the camera that he bought me a new one! It is super cool and blue! So, from now on I just have to plug it in and pull the photos off (as soon as I learn how to take them...).Anton and Marcy named their little girl Abigail Rose and we have not had the pleasure of meeting her yet, with all of the sickness going around. This weekend is looking good though. I will post more in the next day or two, including photos of the trip.
So, Brock is off to New York with his brother Trevor and their dad Ralph. This means that I am currently home alone. BORING!!! Oh well, atleast I can't say that so far it hasn't been exciting. Brock left for Calgary Thursday night, all I did was chill and get sick. Friday, I was abruptly woken at 2:30 am by our great friends (and I truly mean that) Anton & Marcy telling me that they were headed to the hospital because Marcy was in labour. I got such an early wake-up call because I was lucky enough to be allowed to babysit their wonderfully fluffy little pom. Friday was a day spent on the edge of my seat awaiting any news about the new little wonder. Anthony and I went to the mall and dinner to pass the time (because he told Brock he'd not let me bored). We were trying to decide how to pass time until a movie that neither of us wanted see when Anton called to say that they had a baby girl. So off the hospital we raced. I was luck enough that they found me a mask so I could go in to see the hours-old little miracle! she is beautiful and I have never been more proud or excited for any of my friends! They havn't picked a name yet, but as soon as they do, I will let you know! Today has started off slow, my cold has gotten worse I think and I am waiting to hear from Anton and Marcy (yup still) to see if they will be going home today. If they do, I will be off to Calgary until Sunday night to do canning with my mom. If not, I'll be hanging out with a bunch of wild dogs that you'd think I found in a field somewhere for how fiesty they are. Humph. All the while, Brock is having a blast in New York. Oh well, I got to see the baby first...hehehe!
Today was much better. I have made it through the day with only 1. Count it, 1! I am really proud of myself. I went all the way until 4:30 and then I decided to have a half of a smoke. It made me really dizzy. Then I waited until 7:30 to have the rest. They don't really feel as good as they used to. I hope that means this is getting easier. Anyways, I decided that even if I can only get down to one a day, that is alright with me. I will keep trying to have a zero day, but I am at peace with the idea that I might have days that are harder and days that are easier. Oh, and the smoking before bed theory was no good. Still couldn't sleep. We'll see how tonight goes, sans smoking. Oh, and I found a great cigarette replacement. Crazy Cakes mini cupcakes. They totally killed my cravings, although I think they might become one of their own. Brock doesn't approve, and for all of you who have participated in the food controversy of late, you can understand what tactic he used to convince me. Ha, ha, real funny honey!
Today has been better. It was really helpful that today was the first day of school for me at a new school. This meant that I had no attachment between breaks and smoking, so I didn't have to find something else to do instead of going out to smoke. I was doing great until Brock picked me up and all I could think about was that there were smokes at home. But it wasn't awful. And I went a whole 19hrs without one. I also cheated a bit by stealing puffs from a friend while he smoked. I know, I know it's bad, but hey, if I can get to a point where the only cigarette smoke I have is while out with a friend I steal a drag, I am ok with that. I slept terribly (I think I was having "nic-fits" through the night), waking up every 2hrs. I am currently debating if I am throwing caution to the wind and having another smoke before bed to see if I can sleep better. I know that is not a solution, but if I know that bed is my bad time, I will be more motivated to make it through the rest of the day, so that I can feel a bit better about only having one. I'll let you know how the debate ends up tomorrow. Thank you to everyone for all of your support and to my wonderful husband-to-be for putting up with a crazy woman and being so encouraging and proud of my baby steps! I Love You!!!
So, to most peoples surprise (I am sure), I am announcing that today was my first day smoke-free. Well, at least I would love to say that, but I did have 2 smokes to get me through. Pretty good I think since I typically smoke between 7 and 10 a day. I went for a straight 15hrs without having one, and then I only took 4 puffs to take the edge off. Unfortunately, after that it was significantly harder to not have a smoke, but today is just day 1. Tomorrow will be easier. As long as work is not too stressful. I won't bore you all with my tale of struggle and Brock's almost insanity because of me (who knew that smokers could be so emotional when they were not smoking)! I still look at it as I have quit, but sometimes I need something to take the edge off. I told a frend of mine that if I can put off having a smoke until the evening, that is all I am asking. Because one day, the evening will come and I won't want that one. And I can always try again tomorrow if I do want it. So, until tomorrow, wish me luck!
